Day two

Chief Spending Officer stayed downstairs all night. Wailing continued until approximately 2am – sobbing and mournful shouts of ‘That silly cow has ruined me’. Apparently this girl from HR has done something very bad in escorting the CSO out of his office. I should ask him what it is.

I returned from the gym to find him awake but quiet. He tells me that his head hurts, and I am sure that nothing less than the gold-leaf-wrapped organic ibuprofen from Hendrick’s Pharmaceutical Emporium will do. When I point out that I would offer him one but we gave the last ones to diva-in-waiting when she complained of feeling poorly last week, he sat on the Uluru-tiled kitchen floor and whimpered a little. ‘Do Boots round the corner do an expensive range?’ he asked me, ‘because I’m sure the cheap stuff won’t work as well’. I took pity on him and got a taxi to Hendrick’s for another box.

We are meant to be cutting costs, so I asked for a smaller box this time. Only four tablets means, of course, less money spent on tablets, but also a smaller morocco leather-bound box for them. Apparently the lack of brass finishings on the small box also saves some money, and meant the cab wasn’t waiting so long for the box to be finished. I know it’s an indulgence, but one should never rush craftsmen at their work. Hand-rolled pills do seem to be swallowed that much easier, you know.

On my return, CSO was attempting to talk to the children. Something about Daddy not going to work for a while and having a ‘toxic reputation’ after ‘that stupid blog’. Whatever is that all about? I asked him, but he just stared at me in a funny way. Had to use a different card to pay the taxi – for some reason the one I’d used at Hendrick’s wouldn’t work. I have resolved to ask Hendrick’s to deliver next time to save on taxi waiting charges. Their premier service has the courier’s path strewn with rose petals, which I know the children will enjoy.